Mental Floss

I’d love to thank you all for the rash of offers you’ve spammed into my blog comment moderation queue since the inception of this blog, however I do not require any services regarding a mortgage, seeing as I live in an apartment, nor do I have any interest in any car loans, seeing as my credit is a negative number and I don’t even make enough to pay my bills. While I do need medication, I do not need your pathetic “discounts”, especially since some of the meds I take are probably controlled substances, which means they can’t be shipped, and I especially have no interest whatsoever in Viagra, seeing as I’m #1: female and #2: I have a rather healthy sex life, thanks to my manias. I also have no interest whatsoever in online poker, since the only card game I care for lately is Egyptian Rat Screw.
And a special thanks to the asstards among you who have the balls to write bullshit comments like “nice blog i really like it”. Number one, you couldn’t give less of a damn about my blog. You just want to spread your worthless ads in any way possible. Your lack of punctuation and capitalization is blaringly obvious, and further shows that you don’t care. As if you’re going to sweet talk me into allowing your comments through because you feign interest in my blog, which I sincerely doubt that any of you wankers even read. You must waste an awful lot of time on this, especially since I’ve got all of my comments moderated, and I require registration before posting. By the way, I have your IP addresses. You have been warned. Cease and desist, or your ISP will be hearing from me. And don’t worry if they don’t speak English, because I probably speak their language.